Category Archives: 1970s

A little option action from Colin Kaepernick

Hope you enjoyed Colin Kaepernick breaking out the option Sunday during the 49ers’ 28-17 win over the Cowboys. OK, so it didn’t gain any yards. In fact, his pitch to LaMichael James resulted in a 1-yard loss. But it’s the thought that counts.

Here’s the Lions’ Greg Landry having a bit more success with it in 1973:

Now that’s how to run the option. Landry rushed for over 500 yards in consecutive (14-game) seasons in ’71 and ’72, a first for an NFL quarterback. The running back who took the pitch on the first play, as Howard Cosell pointed out, was Altie Taylor.

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Frank Gore joins the 10,000 Club

Walter Payton (16,726) and Emmitt Smith (18,355) pushed the NFL career rushing record so high that, in the new millennium, 10,000 yards means you’re barely halfway to the top. When Jim Brown (12,312) was the all-time leader from 1961 to ’84, the milestone was a much bigger deal.

Consider: Through the ’95 season — the league’s 76th — just 10 backs had broken the 10,000 barrier. Only one isn’t in the Hall of Fame (and if you’d seen him as a rookie, when he rushed for 1,605 electric yards, you would have sworn he was a shoo-in).

10,000-YARD RUSHERS THROUGH 1995

Yards Running Back Team(s) Years Hall of Fame?
16,726 Walter Payton Bears 1975-87 Yes*
13,259 Eric Dickerson Rams, Colts, 2 others 1983-93 Yes*
12,739 Tony Dorsett Cowboys, Broncos 1977-88 Yes*
12,312 Jim Brown Browns 1957-65 Yes*
12,120 Franco Harris Steelers, Seahawks 1972-84 Yes*
11,352 John Riggins Jets, Redskins 1971-85 Yes
11,236 O.J. Simpson Bills, 49ers 1969-79 Yes*
10,908 Marcus Allen Raiders, Chiefs 1982-95 Yes*
10,273 Ottis Anderson Cardinals, Giants 1979-92 No
10,172 Barry Sanders Lions 1989-95 Yes*

*first year of eligibility

Note that eight of the 10 were elected to the Hall in their first year of eligibility (and Riggins made it in his second).

Since then, 19 more backs have joined the 10,000 Club — including the 49ers’ Frank Gore on Sunday against the Cowboys — which brings the membership to 29. It’s not so exclusive anymore, and that’s reflected in the fact that just six of those 19 are either in Canton or total locks for the place once they’re eligible. The breakdown:

● Already enshrined (4): Emmitt Smith (18,355), Curtis Martin (14,101), Marshall Faulk (12,279), Thurman Thomas (12,074).

● Destined to be enshrined (2): LaDainian Tomlinson (13,684), Adrian Peterson (10,190).

● Has been a finalist but hasn’t been voted in (1): Jerome Bettis (13,662).

● Maybe someday (1): Edgerrin James (12,246).

● Little to no chance, unless the Veterans Committee champions their cause (11): Fred Taylor (11,695), Corey Dillon (11,241), Warrick Dunn (10,967), Steven Jackson (10,730), Ricky Watters (10,643), Jamal Lewis (10,607), Thomas Jones (10,591), Tiki Barber (10,449), Eddie George (10,441), Frank Gore (10,030), Ricky Williams (10,009).

(If it were up to me, I’d give serious consideration to Barber. He’s 10th all time among backs in yards from scrimmage with 15,632 and also did some returning. But I don’t think the selectors are so inclined.)

As for Gore, he’s had a terrific career with seven 1,000-yard seasons and five Pro Bowls, but he’s really had only one monster year — 2006, when he rushed for 1,695 yards and gained 2,180 from scrimmage. None of his other seasons have come within 600 yards of that second figure (best: 1,538). Maybe he’ll have enough staying power put up Undeniable Numbers, but it doesn’t look like it.

At least he made it to 10,000, though, which may not be as rare as it once was but can still prove elusive to even the best backs. Earl Campbell (9,407), for instance, broke down before he got there — which didn’t, of course, keep him out of the Hall. And in recent years, Clinton Portis (an agonizingly close 9,923) and Shaun Alexander (9,453) have fallen short

It’s still a remarkable feat of endurance, never mind talent, whether it leads to Canton or not. Those are large men, after all, who are hitting you, and the ground isn’t exactly a mattress.

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Friday Night Fights I: Lyle Alzado vs. Muhammad Ali, 1979

We’re beginning a new feature at Pro Football Daly: Friday Night Fights. It’s a series of boxing or wrestling matches involving pro football players — and sometimes, if we’re lucky, brawling with each other.

Let’s start with a classic July 1979 matchup between Lyle Alzado, the Broncos’ wild man of a defensive end, and Muhammad Ali at (the old) Mile High Stadium This was the year after Ali won his rematch with Leon Spinks to reclaim the heavyweight title for the last time (after which he said he was retired, not that anyone believed him).

Both men had a gift for gab, so the pre-fight talk was particularly entertaining. Ali, as you might expect, didn’t take Alzado too seriously:

Alzado, meanwhile, climbed into the ring with a confidence of a 6-foot-3, 255-pound bruiser (though he reportedly weighed in at 243):

Alzado was toying with the idea of becoming a boxer but eventually came to his senses. (Later that summer, he walked out of the Broncos’ camp and forced a trade to the Browns.)

His fight against Ali was billed as an eight-round exhibition — with no scoring, as you heard Lyle mention. Still, there were some decent shots landed.

And Dick Schaap, who complemented Sam Nover’s blow-by-blow, was in top form. Some of his better lines:

“There are quarterbacks all over the country who are rooting for Muhammad Ali today.”

“[Alzado] can now say that he’s the first man to sack Joe Namath and smack Muhammad Ali.”

And: “Alzado is ahead on smirks.”

I just heard the bell for Round 1. . .

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Quarterbacks who get it done in Week 1

This is a modified version of: If your life hinged on the outcome of one football game, who would you want as your quarterback?

Let’s word it this way: If you absolutely had to win an NFL season opener — or be sentenced to a lifetime of leaf raking with a salad fork — your QB (post-1960 only) would be . . .?

Joe Montana, you say? Surprisingly, he was only 7-5 in opening-day starts (and just 5-5 with the Niners). Johnny Unitas? A little better, but still “only” 9-5 (if you fudge a bit and count his first few years with the Colts in the ’50s). Peyton Manning? Getting warmer at 11-4, though his winning percentage (.733) isn’t as good as — gulp — Lynn Dickey’s (7-2, .778) or Craig Morton’s (6-2, .750).

OK, I’m going to stop torturing you. Here are the top QBs in terms of winning percentage (minimum: 6 starts):

BEST WEEK 1 RECORDS FOR STARTING QUARTERBACKS SINCE 1960

Span Quarterback Team(s) W-L Pct
1969-79 Roger Staubach Cowboys 9-0 1.000
2002-13 Tom Brady Patriots 11-1 .917
2002-13 Michael Vick Falcons, Eagles 6-1 .857
2007-13 Jay Cutler Broncos, Bears 6-1 .857
1963-68 Frank Ryan Browns 5-1 .833
2008-13 Joe Flacco Ravens 5-1 .833

Quite a group, isn’t it? You’ve got a guy who served four years in the Navy, including a stint in Vietnam, before starting his NFL career (Staubach). You’ve got a guy who’s married to a supermodel (Brady). You’ve got a guy who did time in prison for running a dogfighting operation. And you’ve got a guy who titled his doctoral thesis in math: “Characterization of the Set of Asymptotic Values of a Function Holomorphic in the Unit Disc” (Ryan).

(The latter will always get a laugh at parties, by the way. Just say, preferably when one of your friends has a mouthful, “I’ll take ‘Characterization of the Set of Asymptotic Values of a Function Holomorphic in the Unit Disc’ for $1,000, Alex.”)

Anyway, would have expected to see Vick on this list? Or Cutler, for that matter? (Flacco I had a vague awareness of just because he plays up the road.) Some other factoids that might interest you:

● Dan Marino (10-6, .625) didn’t make the cut, but he did win his last eight openers (1992-99). Heck of a streak. Dan Fouts (9-3, .750) didn’t make the cut, either, but he won nine of 10 openers in one stretch (1976-86, an injury keeping him out in ’77). Another terrific streak.

● Brady has won his last 10 (2004-13), though he made only a cameo appearance in the ’08 game, when he blew out his knee against the Chiefs.

● Peyton Manning is almost as good in openers as his father Archie was bad (2-9, .182). Of course, his dad got stuck playing for the Saints in their Paper Bag Days. Brother Eli, meanwhile, is 4-5 Screen Shot 2014-09-04 at 9.32.43 AM(.444).

● If you go by passer rating, the Top 5 in Week 1 starts (minimum: 6) are Tony Romo (110.2), Aaron Rodgers (101.4), Brady (100.1), Fouts (98.5) and Drew Brees (96.9), with Peyton (96.4) and Philip Rivers (96) close behind.

● Wins by Brady (vs. Miami) and Manning (vs. Indianapolis) on Sunday would give each of them 12 opening-game victories, as many as any QB has had in the modern era. That list currently looks like this:

MOST WINNING STARTS IN WEEK 1 BY A QUARTERBACK SINCE 1960

Span Quarterback Team (s) W-L-T Pct
1983-98 John Elway Broncos 12-4-0 .750
1992-10 Brett Favre Packers, Jets, Vikings 12-6-0 .667
1961-78 Fran Tarkenton Vikings, Giants 11-6-1 .639
1998-13 Peyton Manning Colts, Broncos 11-4-0 .733
2002-13 Tom Brady Patriots 11-1-0 .917

So who did you choose?

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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Follicles on parade

Just saw this headline on Facebook:

Man dying of heart attack ‘refused defibrillator by air stewardess because of his HAIRY CHEST’

So naturally, I had to post this. It’s Jets legend Joe Namath and future Charlie’s Angel Farrah Fawcett at the shooting of a Noxema commercial in the ’70s.

Screen Shot 2014-08-31 at 1.25.31 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For your additional enjoyment, here’s the commercial:

 

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Larry Csonka goes digital

I always thought of Larry Csonka, the Dolphins’ Hall of Fame bulldozer, as the Three Finger Brown of pro football. Or rather, I did after I saw these two Sports Illustrated covers, dated Aug. 7, 1972 and July 28, 1975. Some suggested the first photo was misinterpreted, that Csonka was merely telling the world that “We’re No. 1.”

Csonka 1 fingerCsonka 2 fingers

 

 

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The vanishing shutout

NFL defenses posted just three shutouts last season, one off the all-time low. There weren’t many the previous three years, either — six in 2012 and five in both ’11 and ’10. You don’t have to be Norman Einstein, as Joe Theismann would say, to figure out that’s one shutout every 53.9 games — in this decade, at least.

The whitewash in pro football is even more of an endangered species than the complete-game whitewash in baseball. And you wonder why James Harrison is perpetually perturbed?

If this offensive explosion keeps up — and it shows no signs of abating — the shutout may go the way of the single-bar facemask. Especially with kickers becoming increasingly accurate. Since 2000, 183 shutouts have been spoiled by a single field goal. That didn’t happen nearly as often in the Pre-Soccer-Style Era.

Shutouts, decade by decade (regular season only):

● 1940s (85 total) – 1 every 6.4 games

● 1950s (40) – 1 every 18.2 games

● 1960s* (73) – 1 every 22.1 games

● 1970s (158) – 1 every 12.2 games

● 1980s (98) – 1 every 21.7 games

● 1990s (83) – 1 every 28.1 games

● 2000s (89) – 1 every 28.6 games

● 2010-13 (19) – 1 every 53.9 games

*NFL and AFL combined

In the ’40s, of course, there were too many shutouts. But the situation corrected itself as the T formation spread and the passing game evolved. There were too many shutouts in the ’70s, too. That calamity was fixed by rule changes in 1978 that limited contact against receivers and allowed blockers to use their hands.

Don’t expect the NFL to do anything about the current imbalance, though. Offense sells tickets and, besides, who — outside of defensive players and coaches — is complaining?

Not that these people don’t have a point. Let’s face it, the game hasn’t been this far out of whack in decades. Pro football, to its great profit, has always favored the offense, but there are times when it gets a little ridiculous. This is one of those times.

A shutout miscellany:

The Last 5 Teams to Post Back-to-Back Shutouts

● 2009 Cowboys (11-5) — Beat Redskins 17-0, Eagles 24-0. Lost in second round of playoffs. Hall of Famers: LB DeMarcus Ware (projected). Pro Bowlers: Ware, NT Jay Ratliff, CB Thomas Newman, CB Mike Jenkins.

● 2000 Titans (13-3) — Beat Browns 24-0, Cowboys 31-0. Lost first playoff game. Hall of Famers: None. Pro Bowlers: DE Jevon Kearse, CB Samari Rolle, SS Blaine Bishop.

● 2000 Steelers (9-7) — Beat Bengals 15-0, Browns 22-0. (This came during a five-game stretch in which Pittsburgh allowed no touchdowns and just six field goals.) Missed playoffs. Hall of Famers: None. Pro Bowler: LB Jason Gildon.

● 2000 Ravens (12-4) — Beat Bengals 37-0, Browns 12-0. Won Super Bowl. Hall of Famers (1): FS Rod Woodson (with LB Ray Lewis in the waiting room). Pro Bowlers: Woodson, Lewis, DT Sam Adams.

● 1985 Bears (15-1) — Beat Cowboys 44-0, Falcons 36-0. Won Super Bowl (and racked up two more shutouts in the postseason). Hall of Famers (3): DE Richard Dent, DT Dan Hampton, LB Mike Singletary. Pro Bowlers: Dent, Hampton, Singletary, DT Steve McMichael, LB Otis Wilson, SS Dave Duerson.

The Only Teams Since the 1970 Merger to Post 3 Straight Shutouts

● 1976 Steelers (10-4) — Beat Giants 27-0, Chargers 23-0, Chiefs 45-0. Lost in AFC title game. Hall of Famers (4): DT Joe Greene, LB Jack Lambert, LB Jack Ham, CB Mel Blount. (They had five shutouts in all, tying them with the 1944 Giants for the most in a season since the ’30s.)

● 1970 Cardinals (8-5-1) — Beat Houston Oilers 44-0, Patriots 31-0, Cowboys 38-0. (Note: A three-week stretch in which they outscored their opponents 113-0.) Missed playoffs. Hall of Famers (2): CB Roger Wehrli, FS Larry Wilson.

Also:

● 1948 Eagles (9-2-1) — Had three 45-0 blowouts (Giants, Redskins, Boston Yanks), the first two in consecutive weeks. Won NFL title. Hall of Famers (2): E Pete Pihos, LB Alex Wojciechowicz.

● 1962 Packers (13-1) — Handed out two 49-0 beatings (Bears, Eagles). Won NFL title. Hall of Famers (5): DE Willie Davis, DT Henry Jordan, LB Ray Nitschke, CB Herb Adderley, FS Willie Wood.

● 1960 Dallas Texans (8-6) — Shut out both teams that reached the AFL championship game (Chargers 17-0, Oilers 24-0). Hall of Famers: None. (DT Buck Buchanan and LB Bobby Bell didn’t come along until ’63.)

And finally, lest we forget:

● The 1934 Lions had more shutouts in their first seven games (7) than the entire NFL had in each of the past four seasons (5, 5, 6, 3).

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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Thoughts on the Logan Mankins trade

For me, there are two surprises in the following chart. The first is that only eight rookie tight ends in NFL history have had 50 or more receptions. The second is that every one of them went in the first 40 picks of the draft except for Tim Wright, the guy the Patriots just acquired from the Bucs for six-time Pro Bowl guard Logan Mankins. Wright, who played his college ball at Rutgers, was passed over by all 32 teams a year ago.

ROOKIE TIGHT ENDS WHO HAVE CAUGHT 50 OR MORE PASSES

Year  Tight End, Team Rec Yds Avg TD Round-Pick
1988  Keith Jackson, Eagles 81 869 10.7 6 1-13
2002  Jeremy Shockey, Giants 74 894 12.1 2 1-14
1961  Mike Ditka, Bears 56 1,076 19.2 12 1-5
2008  John Carlson, Seahawks 55 627 11.4 5 2-38
1973  Charle Young, Eagles 55 854 15.5 6 1-6
1998  Cam Cleeland, Saints 54 684 12.7 6 2-40
2013  Tim Wright, Bucs 54 571 10.6 5 Undrafted
2010  Jermaine Gresham, Bengals 52 471 9.1 4 1-21

That’s right, no Rob Gronkowski (42 receptions). No Jimmy Graham (31). No Tony Gonzalez (33). No Kellen Winslow Sr. or Jr. (30 combined in their first season). No Shannon Sharpe (7). Maybe this Wright kid is better than we think. (Of course, before today, when the deal was announced, how often did he even cross our minds?)

At the every least, Wright provides low-cost Gronk Insurance in the event the all-world tight end is slow coming back from knee surgery. When No. 87 was out of the lineup last year, the Patriots’ supercharged offense seemed more like a stick shift. Wright also creates significant cap space in case the Pats want to hang onto Darrelle Revis, whose 2015 option is a gargantuan $20 million. Mankins, after all, had the Pats’ second-highest cap number after Tom Brady; Wright, meanwhile, like most undrafted free agents, subsists on gruel.

Still, trading a guard with Mankins’ resumé . . . how often has that happened? Well, I dug up one similar example back in the ’70s. (Which isn’t to say there might not be others.) I also found a couple of guards who were dealt after being voted to five Pro Bowls — and two more who were sent packing after being voted to three. The particulars, chronologically:

● Walt Sweeney, Chargers to Redskins (January 1974) — A nine-time Pro Bowler in San Diego (1964-72), Sweeney joined George Allen’s Over the Hill Gang at the age of 33. He started for two seasons in Washington before calling it a career. The Chargers received fourth-, fifth- and sixth-round picks spread over three drafts.

● Ed White, Vikings to Chargers (July 1978) — White had made three Pro Bowls in Minnesota and would make another in San Diego. Though already 31, he ended up playing eight more seasons (which Mankins might try to do just out of spite). The Vikes, in return, got Rickey Young, who caught 88 passes in his first year with them, a record for running backs (since broken).

● Joe DeLamielleure, Bills to Browns (September 1980) — Hall of Famer DeLamielleure, then 29, had been selected for five Pro Bowls in Buffalo and added a sixth in Cleveland. The Bills came away with second- and third-round picks.

● R.C. Thielemann, Falcons to Redskins (August 1985) — Atlanta needed a wideout. Washington wasn’t sold on its right guard. So the 30-year-old Thielemann, a three-time Pro Bowler with the Falcons, was swapped Charlie Brown, who was coming off an injury-marred season after tying for the NFC lead in receptions in ’83. R.C. was just a spoke in the wheel with the Redskins, but he did start on their ’87 championship team.

● Kent Hill, Los Angeles Rams to Houston Oilers (September 1986) — This was the trade, two games into the season, that enabled L.A. to obtain the rights to unsigned QB Jim Everett, the third pick in the ’86 draft (who had no desire to sit behind Canton-bound Warren Moon). Hill, part of a mega-package that included DE William Fuller and two No. 1s, was 29 and had gone to five Pro Bowls. He played that year and one more in Houston and then retired.

As for Everett, he didn’t win the Super Bowl in Los Angeles, but after moving to the Saints he did leave us with this memorable clip:

Anyway, yeah, this Mankins trade is extremely rare. I wouldn’t want to be the team that comes out on the short end of it.

Sources: pro-football-reference.com, NFL.com

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Tony Gonzalez’s exit

Well, it looks like Tony Gonzalez really is retired, so I guess it’s safe to run this post. I wanted to add his 2013 performance to my list of Best Final Seasons in NFL history, but there was always the chance the Patriots or some other tight end-needy contender would talk him into playing another year.

Gonzalez wanted badly last season to close out his career the way Ray Lewis, Michael Strahan and Jerome Bettis had in recent years — by winning the Super Bowl. (In his case, his first.) Alas, the Falcons were one of the league’s biggest flops, going 4-12 after reaching the NFC title game the season before, and Tony’s typically sterling efforts (83 catches, 859 yards, 8 touchdowns and his 14th Pro Bowl) went for naught.

Still, at least he retired at or near the top of his game. The same can’t be said for Lewis, Strahan and Bettis, despite their fairytale endings. Ray missed 10 games in 2012 with a torn triceps and failed to make the Pro Bowl. Strahan ranked third on the Giants in ’07 with nine sacks (to Osi Umenyiora’s 13 and Justin Tuck’s 10). And Bettis rushed for a career-low 368 yards in ’05 (though his nine rushing touchdowns were tops on the team).

Other players have hung ’em up after having much better seasons — and a handful have even done it while winning a ring (or whatever bauble owners handed out in those days). The lineup of Fabulous Finishers:

BEST FINAL SEASONS IN NFL HISTORY

● 2013 – Tony Gonzalez, TE, Falcons (age: 37): I’ve already hit you with his numbers. You’ll appreciate them even more when I tell you he had 80 receptions (or better) at ages 31, 32, 33, 35 and 36, too. No other tight end has been older than 30 when he caught that many balls.

● 2006 – Tiki Barber, RB, Giants (age: 31): Had 1,662 rushing yards, 2,127 yards from scrimmage and made the Pro Bowl with an 8-8 club that somehow stumbled into a playoff berth. Contemplated making a comeback several years later, after his TV career went south, but couldn’t find a taker.

● 1999 – Kevin Greene, LB, Panthers (37): Racked up the last 12 of his 160 sacks (No. 3 all time) for 8-8 Carolina.

● 1998 – John Elway*, QB, Broncos (38): Posted a passer rating of 93, earned a Pro Bowl berth, won the Super Bowl and was voted the game’s MVP (after throwing for 336 yards). Endings don’t get any sweeter than that.

● 1998 – Barry Sanders*, RB, Lions (30): Hard to believe the NFL lost two Hall ofFamers – who were still playing at a high level – to retirement in the same year. Sanders’ ’98 numbers (coming on the heels of his 2,053-yard rushing season): 343 carries, 1,491 yards, 4 touchdowns. Alas, Detroit went 5-11 in his Pro Bowl swan song.

● 1996 – Keith Jackson, TE, Packers (31): Caught a career-high 10 TD passes and played in the last of his five Pro Bowls as Green Bay won its first championship since the Lombardi years.

● 1983 – Ken Riley, CB, Bengals (36): Exited after a season in which had eight interceptions (second in the league), ran back two for scores (one a game-winner) and was elected to his first Pro Bowl. The Bengals weren’t nearly as good as he was, finishing 7-9.

● 1979 – Roger Staubach*, QB, Cowboys (37): Won his fourth NFL passing crown (rating: 92.3) and appeared in his sixth Pro Bowl for division champion Dallas.

● 1965 – Jim Brown*, RB, Browns (29): Before going off to make movies (e.g. “The Dirty Dozen”), Brown had a typically terrific season, leading the league in rushing (1,544), rushing touchdowns (17) and yards from scrimmage (1,872). His final game, though, with the title at stake, was less satisfying: a muddy 23-12 loss to the Packers.

● 1960 – Norm Van Brocklin*, QB, Eagles (34): The Dutchman was the NFL MVP, tossing 24 TD passes (and, on the side, averaging 43.1 yards a punt) in quarterbacking the franchise to its last championship. Retired to become coach of the expansion Vikings, making him the last player to call it quits and step directly into a head-coaching job.

● 1955 – Otto Graham*, QB, Browns (34): Led the league with a 94 passer rating and went to the Pro Bowl as Cleveland won its second straight title (and seventh in a decade, counting its time in the All-America Conference).

● 1955 – Pete Pihos*, E, Eagles (32): Was still a Pro Bowler – and catching more passes (62) for more yards (864) than anybody in the NFL – when he decided he’d had enough. Philly’s 4-7-1 record undoubtedly made it easier.

● 1950 – Spec Sanders, S, New York Yanks (32): Picked off a league-best 13 passes in his one NFL season (after coming over from the All-America Conference). Only one player in history has had more: the Rams’ Night Train Lane (14 in ’52).

● 1945 – Don Hutson*, WR, Packers (32): Capped an incredible career with 47 receptions, tops in the league, for 834 yards and 9 TDs. (And the season, mind you, was just 10 games. His stats would project to 75-1,334-14 over a 16-game schedule.) Green Bay had won the championship the year before, but finished third in the West in ’45 with a 6-4 mark.

● 1937 – Cliff Battles*, RB, Redskins (27): Took his second NFL rushing crown with 874 yards, helping the Redskins, in their first season in Washington, win their first title. A contract dispute with owner George Preston Marshall caused him to retire and turn to college coaching.

* Hall of Famer

Another familiar name that should be on this list is Reggie White. The legendary defensive end initially retired after the 1998 season, when he had 16 sacks for the Packers and was the league’s defensive player of the year. But he reconsidered two seasons later and gave it one last go with a 7-9 Panthers team, adding 5 ½ (needless) sacks to his resumé. All it did was delay his entry into the Hall of Fame.

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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Orson Welles and the NFL

One night in the ’30s, Shipwreck Kelly, the Brooklyn Dodgers’ owner/running back/party animal, was at the El Morocco with a group of friends. In walked a big fellow with a beard — at a time when such adornments were confined mostly to sheepherders.

“Do you know who that guy is?” the nightclub’s owner asked Shipwreck.

Shipwreck didn’t have a clue.

“It’s Orson Welles, the actor.”

The owner brought The Actor over to the The Football Player’s table for introductions, Shipwreck recalled in Richard Whittingham’s oral history of the NFL’s early years, What a Game They Played.

I tried to be a smart aleck, like I did a lot of times in those days. I said, “Gee, Mr. Welles, it’s nice meeting someone like you.” He didn’t know who I was or that I played football or anything about me. But he was very pleasant. Then I said something like, “Why do you cultivate something on your face that grows wild on your ass?”

“Mr. Kelly,” he said, “you are fresh in New York, and if I were you I wouldn’t tell my friends how much you know about my ass.”

It was one of the rare occasions Shipwreck was out-wiseguyed.

Fast forward to 1979.  Jets legend Joe Namath — who, like Kelly, enjoyed the nightlife — is serving as the victim for one of Dean Martin’s Celebrity Roasts. Who should take the podium to add to the merriment but Welles, still sporting a beard but now built like a nose tackle.

What followed was the five cleverest minutes in NFL Films history (which is saying a lot). Watch:

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