Category Archives: 1980s

Why the Falcons eased up on the Bucs

One thing you never want to do in the NFL, funny as this might sound, is beat a team by too many points — by, like, 50 or more. The Falcons had that opportunity against the Bucs in Week 3, building a 56-0 lead through three quarters, and you could see they wanted no part of it. They basically said, “No mas,” put in backup quarterback T.J. Yates (who generously threw a pick-six) and gladly settled for a 56-14 win.

I say “gladly” because, well, look at the historical record. You’d think a 50-point margin would mean there’s a sizable gap between the two clubs. It’s the kind of blowout you might get if, oh, an expansion team had to play the defending Super Bowl champs in its NFL debut. (But only if the defending champs were total bullies.)

And yet, five times since 1940 a club that’s been clobbered by 50 or more points has beaten its clobberer the next time they met — either later the same year or the following season. (Hell hath no fury like a team that’s been annihilated.) Stunning, no? After all, there have been only 23 losses of this magnitude in the last 75 years, playoffs included; so we’re talking about 1 in 5 odds, roughly, that the squashed-like-a bug club will get immediate payback.

Heck, it almost happened last season. In 2012, you may recall, the Cardinals dropped a 58-0 squeaker to the Seahawks, committing eight turnovers and failing to advance beyond Seattle’s 37-yard line. As stinkers go, it was sulfur dioxide. But in Week 16 last year, in the Cards’ second meeting with the ’Hawks since the Great Embarrassment, they upset the Super Bowl winners-to-be, 17-10, at CenturyLink Field — Seattle’s only loss in its last 20 home games.

Without further ado, then, here are, arguably, the Five Greatest Extractors of Revenge in modern pro football history:

● 1977 Falcons — In the next-to-last game of ’76, the Los Angeles Rams steamrolled them 59-0 at the Coliseum (and outgained them by nearly 500 yards, 569-81). The Falcons — and their Grits Blitz defense — got even in the ’77 opener in Atlanta, handing the Rams a 17-6 defeat. The L.A. quarterback that day: Joe Namath. Margin of first game: 59. Point swing between the two games: 70.

● 1981 Packers — Late in the ’80 season, the Bears hammered them 61-7 at Soldier Field, the most one-sided game ever between the two ancient rivals. When the Pack returned to Chicago in Week 1 of ’81, they turned the tables on the Bears, 16-9. Margin of first game: 54. Point swing: 61.

● 1990 Houston Oilers — The feud in the ’80s and ’90s between Bengals coach Sam Wyche and Oilers counterpart Jerry Glanville was one of the most entertaining of all time. Wyche considered Glanville “probably the biggest phony in professional football,” and Jerry’s feelings toward Sam weren’t much warmer. So when Cincinnati got the chance near the end of the ’89 season, it poured it on Houston, onside kicking with a huge lead, booting a needless field goal in the final seconds and burying the Oilers 61-7 at Riverfront Stadium. The next time the clubs crossed paths, the following season in the Astrodome, Glanville was no longer in Houston. (He’d moved on to Atlanta and been replaced by Jack Pardee.) Too bad. He missed seeing Warren Moon toss five touchdown passes in a 48-17 rout of Wicky Wacky’s Bengals. Margin of first game: 54. Point swing: 85.

● 1979 Jets — In the second game of the season, the explosive Patriots pummeled the Jets 56-3 in Foxborough as Steve Grogan threw for TDs of 49, 37, 50, 44 and 28 yards. The rematch at Shea Stadium produced a much different result: a 27-26 Jets win that killed the Pats’ playoff chances. Margin of first game: 53. Point swing: 54.

● 1989 Steelers — Everything went wrong for Pittsburgh in its opener, a 51-0 loss to the Browns at Three Rivers Stadium. It gave the ball away eight times, managed just 53 offensive yards and watched in horror as the Cleveland defense scored three touchdowns (two on fumbles, one on an interception). Five weeks later, the Steelers rebounded to beat the Browns on the road 17-7, thanks to seven takeaways of their own. Margin of first game: 51. Point swing: 61.

Others of note:

● 1954 Baltimore Colts — It wasn’t just that the Rams obliterated the Colts 48-0 in Week 1 (in Baltimore, no less); it was that their first score, an 80-yard bomb from Norm Van Brocklin to Skeet Quinlan, came on a now-illegal Hideout Play. Quinlan stayed on the Los Angeles sideline until just before the snap, then stepped inbounds and darted downfield, uncovered.

The teams met again in L.A. in December. There wasn’t much to play for except pride; both were out of the championship hunt. The Colts had a little extra incentive, though, and avenged their earlier stomping, 22-21, on a late field goal. (I’d love to see Artie Donovan’s bar bill after that one.) Margin of first game: 48. Point swing: 49.

● 1981 49ers — In ’80, when the Niners were still a work in progress (and Steve DeBerg was still their quarterback), the Cowboys crushed them 59-14 in Dallas. But the next year, with Joe Montana at QB and rookie cornerback Ronnie Lott terrorizing receivers, San Francisco broke the Cowboys’ hearts twice at Candlestick Park — 45-14 in the regular season and 28-27 in the NFC title game – en route to winning the Super Bowl. Margin of first game: 45. Point swing: 76.

Finally, there are the 1961 Detroit Lions. Can’t forget about them. They got ambushed 49-0 in Week 3 when the 49ers unleashed their innovative Shotgun offense. In the Week 8 sequel, however, the Lions rose up in all their fury and . . . tied the Niners in San Francisco, 20-20. Ask yourself: Has there been a more satisfying deadlock in the annals of the game? Margin of first game: 49. Point swing: Ditto.

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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A small bone to pick with FiveThirtyEight

Lord knows, I love stats. Love what you can learn from them. Love just playing around with them to see what turns up. And what FiveThirtyEight.com’s Neil Paine does with stats in his revisionist piece about the Greatest Show on Turf — the 1999 Rams offense — is terrific. By all means read it, if you haven’t already.

My only quibble is Paine’s overinflation of Kurt Warner’s ’99 season. “Warner ended up completing 65.1 percent of his passes,” he writes, “which at the time was the third-best single-season completion percentage by any quarterback ever.11” Third-best ever. Wow. That one caught me by surprise. Then I chased down the footnote and found out he was talking about only “quarterbacks with 450 attempts.”

I’m not sure what, in Paine’s mind, is so magical about 450 attempts — other than that it allows him to say Warner’s completion rate was “the third-best . . . ever.” After all, 450 attempts are a lot of attempts. Only three NFL quarterbacks had that many in a season before 1978, when the schedule was increased to 16 games and rule changes turned pro football into the passer’s paradise we have today. (Note: Five more had 450-plus in the bombs-away AFL.)

But that’s a minor point because, the rules being what they were, almost no quarterback back then was going to complete 65.1 percent of his passes — unless it was the Redskins’ Sammy Baugh hitting 70.3 in the talent-starved war year of 1945. Show me a QB in those days who connected on 65.1 percent, and I’ll show you an extraterrestrial.

The larger point is: Why 450 attempts? Steve Young threw 447 passes in 11 starts for the ’95 49ers and completed 66.9 percent (1.8 percent more than Warner). We’re just going to leave him out? Then there’s Joe Montana, who threw 386 passes in 13 starts for the ’89 Niners and completed 70.2 percent (5.1 percent more than Warner). We’re going to ignore that season, too, even though Joe set a record that year (since broken) with a 112.4 rating?

What I’m objecting to is the arbitrariness of “450 attempts,” which serves no real purpose except to make Warner’s season look better. And here’s the thing: Neither he nor the story of the ’99 Rams offense needs any ginning up. His numbers are perfectly capable of standing on their own, without any creative massaging. It was, by any measure, a fabulous year, among the greatest of all time. For Paine create this imaginary 450 Attempts World — in which Warner has “the third-best single-season completion percentage by any quarterback ever” — is just plain silly.

To qualify for the passing title, a QB needs to throw 224 passes (14 per scheduled game). If you make that your threshold, Warner had the 17th-best completion rate ever. The Top 5:

HIGHEST SINGLE-SEASON COMPLETION RATES THROUGH 1999

[table width=“400px”]

Year,Quarterback\, Team,Att,Comp,Pct

1982,Ken Anderson\, Bengals,309,218,70.6

1994,Steve Young\, 49ers,461,324,70.3

1989,Joe Montana\, 49ers,386,271,70.2

1993,Troy Aikman\, Cowboys,392,271,69.1

1993,Steve Young\, 49ers,462,314,68.0

[/table]

Minimum: 224 passes.

(Note: The schedule was only nine games in ’82 because of a player strike.)

Again, Warner had a sensational season, especially when you consider his 41 touchdown passes, 109.2 rating and Disneyesque backstory as a former Arena Leaguer. But making the cutoff 224 attempts, the league standard, instead of 450 tones down the idolatry a little — which is what statistical research is supposed to do.

Of course, 17th doesn’t sound nearly as good as “third-best . . . ever.” But what are you gonna do? It’s one thing to ignore Frank Filchock’s 111.6 passer rating for the 1939 Redskins because it isn’t “modern” — even though, coupled with his 413 rushing yards (ninth in the league), it was one of the most amazing years in NFL history. But when you disqualify seasons by recent Hall of Famers like Steve Young, Joe Montana and Troy Aikman because they fall short of some arbitrary minimum (450 attempts – and not a pass less!), that’s when I’m going to pipe up.

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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A flash in the pan . . . or the real deal?

Granted, this is his third NFL season, but the Redskins’ Kirk Cousins had a 400-yard passing game Sunday against the Eagles in just his fifth NFL start. Not too shabby.

What’s surprising is how many quarterbacks have accomplished the feat just as quickly – or even more quickly. I came up with eight since 1960, and there could be a few more further back.

FEWEST STARTS IT TOOK A QUARTERBACK TO HAVE A 400-YARD GAME

[table]

Date,Quarterback (Year),Team,Opponent,Start,Yds,Result

9-11-11,Cam Newton (1st),Panthers,Cardinals,1st,422,L\, 28-21

1-1-12,Matt Flynn (4th),Packers,Lions,2nd,480,W\, 45-41

11-14-99,Jim Miller (6th),Bears,Vikings,2nd,422,L\, 27-24

11-29-87,Tom Ramsey (5th),Patriots,Eagles,2nd,402,L\, 34-31

9-30-12,Ryan Tannehill (1st),Dolphins,Cardinals,4th,431,L\, 24-21

11-10-02,Marc Bulger (2nd),Rams,Chargers,4th,453,W\, 28-24

9-21-14,Kirk Cousins (3rd),Redskins,Eagles,5th,427,L\, 37-34

12-21-69,Don Horn (3rd),Packers,Cardinals,5th,410,W\, 45-28

10-13-61,Jacky Lee (2nd),Oilers,Patriots,5th,457,T\, 31-31

12-13-04,Billy Volek (4th),Titans,Chiefs,6th,426,L\, 49-38

10-10-04,Tim Rattay (5th),49ers,Cardinals,6th,417,W\, 31-28

9-6-98,Glenn Foley (4th),Jets,49ers,6th,415,L\, 36-30

[/table]

Note: Ramsey played two seasons in the USFL before joining the Patriots in 1985. Those years are counted as experience. . . . Newton also threw for 400 yards in his second NFL game/start (432 vs. the Packers in a 30-23 loss). . . . Volek also threw for 400 in his seventh start (492 vs. the Raiders in a 40-35 loss). . . . The combined won-lost record of the group is 4-7-1. Cousins, in other words, has plenty of company in his despair.

As you can see, only two Actual Rookies since 1960 (Newton and Tannehill) have had a 400-yard passing game in their first five starts. The other quarterbacks were in their second, third, fourth, fifth and even sixth season when they did it.

Also, just two of the dozen QBs listed have gone to the Pro Bowl: Newton and Bulger. The others, for the most part, could be described as Serviceable Backups.

So . . . make of Cousins’ big day what you will. Or maybe he should make of it what he will.

OTHER ACTIVE QUARTERBACKS WHO HAD A 400-YARD GAME EARLY

[table]

Date,Quarterback (Year),Team,Opponent,Start,Yds,Result

11-4-12,Andrew Luck (1st),Colts,Dolphins,8th,433,W\, 23-20

9-8-13,Colin Kaepernick (3rd),49ers,Packers,8th,412,W\, 34-28

11-22-09,Matt Stafford (1st),Lions,Browns,8th,422,W\, 38-37

11-3-13,Nick Foles (2nd),Eagles,Raiders,9th,406,W\, 49-20

11-13-08,Matt Cassel (4th),Patriots,Jets,9th,400,L\, 34-31

[/table]

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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The Jaguars’ 8 quarters from Hell

We can only hope the worst is over for the Jaguars, that they’ll never again be as Horrifically Bad as they were from the second half of Week 1 through the first half of Week 3. But with a rookie quarterback, Blake Bortles, now running the offense, you can never been 100 percent sure.

To summarize the Jags’ miseries:

They lost the second half to the Eagles, 34-0.

Then they lost the game to the Redskins, 41-10.

Then they lost the first half to the Colts, 30-0.

Add it all up and you get: Other Guys 105, Jacksonville 10 — a point differential of minus-95 in the equivalent of two games.

Any idea how many NFL teams have been outscored by that many points over a two-game span? Answer: one (since 1940, at least).

Indeed, I turned up just 10 in the last 75 seasons who were minus-80 or worse over a two-week stretch. (Wish I could broaden it to eight-quarter stretches like the Jaguars’, but the search engine at pro-football-reference.com doesn’t let me to do that.)

Anyway, here are the Terrible Ten:

WORST POINT DIFFERENTIAL IN A TWO-GAME STRETCH SINCE 1940

[table width=”400px”]

Games,Team (W-L-T),PF,PA,Diff

1-2,1961 Raiders (2-12),0,99,-99

1-2,1973 Saints (5-9),10,102,-92

6-7,1966 Falcons (3-11),10,100,-90

8-9,1949 N.Y. Bulldogs (1-10-1),20,107,-87

13-14,2000 Browns (3-13),7,92,-85

7-8,1966 Falcons (3-11),20,105,-85

1-2,1989 Steelers (9-7),10,92,-82

5-6,2009 Titans (8-8),9,90,-81

1-2,1978 Colts (5-11),0,80,-80

4-5,1966 Eagles (9-5),17,97,-80

[/table]

What’s fascinating is that several of these teams bounced back after hitting bottom. The ’89 Steelers actually made the playoffs — and beat the Oilers in the first round. In fact, they nearly made it to the AFC title game, dropping a 24-23 heartbreaker to the Broncos in the semifinals. (And Denver, of course, reached the Super Bowl.)

Also, the ’66 Eagles finished 9-5, and the ’09 Titans won eight of their last 10 with Vince Young at quarterback to end up 8-8.

FYI: The ’66 Falcons were a first-year expansion team, so they can almost be excused.  Still, that was a wicked three weeks they had, getting blown out 44-7 by the 49ers, 56-3 by Vince Lombardi’s Packers and 49-17 by the Browns.

Finally, a word about the ’61 Raiders: After beginning the season with back-to-back humiliations of 55-0 (Oilers) and 44-0 (Chargers), they fired coach Eddie Erdelatz and promoted offensive assistant Marty Feldman, “whose only prior head coaching was for Valley Junior College and the Stanford Frosh,” the Oakland Tribune reported.

I know what you’re thinking. But, no, it’s not this Marty Feldman, the guy who played Igor in Young Frankenstein:

It’s this Marty Feldman:

Feldman with Raiders sweatshirt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two years later, Al Davis arrived on the scene, and Pride and Poise quickly replaced 55-0 and 44-0. If only the Jaguars could find an Al Davis of their own.

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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2-14 has stopped meaning what it used to mean

Until recently, a 2-14 season was a pretty deep hole for an NFL team to escape from. (Anybody got a pulley?) In the last few years, though, we’ve seen some of the quickest turnarounds in league history. Let me refresh your memory:

● After going 2-14 in 2011, the Colts changed coaches (Jim Caldwell/Chuck Pagano) and quarterbacks (Peyton Manning*/Andrew Luck) and earned a wild-card berth with an 11-5 record.

● Following a 2-14 bottoming-out in 2012, the Chiefs changed coaches (Romeo Crennel/Andy Reid) and quarterbacks (Matt Cassel-Brady Quinn/Alex Smith) and also earned a wild-card berth with an 11-5 mark.

● And now the Texans, 2-14 a year ago, are off to a 2-0 start with their new coach (Bill O’Brien) and new quarterback (Ryan Fitzpatrick). Looking at their remaining schedule — which includes home-and-homes against the Jaguars and Titans and only four games against clubs that made the playoffs last season — an above-.500 record, and possibly even a division title, seems within reach. (Assuming, that is, they continue to stay reasonably healthy, which is always a dicey assumption.)

Compare this to the first 33 years of the 16-game schedule (1978-2010). In those three-plus decades, only two 2-14 teams — two of 23 — posted a winning record the next season and only one made the playoffs: the Patriots in the ’82 strike year, when they got help from a snowplow operator to beat the Dolphins 3-0 in a crucial game.

Snowplow Guy in New England

That, basically, is what it took for a 2-14 club to go playoff-ing the next season: a guy to get work-released from prison so he could steer a tractor across a snowy field and clear ground for the home kicker. Leigh Montville’s column in The Boston Globe the next day was priceless. It began thusly:

He started to become famous when he hit the 20-yard line.

He was not famous when he started the little John Deere 314 tractor, still not famous when he put the automatic shift into drive, but by the time Mark Henderson reached the 20, the frozen hearts at Schaefer Stadium realized what he was doing, and he was on his way. Absolute strangers would be asking Mark Henderson, 24, of Walpole to “sign my forehead” before yesterday afternoon was finished.

“What made you do what you did?” this sudden, surprise hero was asked after he had helped the New England Patriots to their 3-0 upset win over the Miami Dolphins. “What started you going?”

“I just heard a voice,” Mark Henderson said. “Someone shouted to me to get out there and clear the snow. And I just went.”

Alas, most 2-14 teams don’t reach the postseason the following year by divine intervention, aren’t rescued by a convicted burglar hearing voices. Indeed, many of them go right on being bad, even worse. Like these four:

2-14 TEAMS THAT WON TWO OR FEWER GAMES THE NEXT SEASON

[table width=”500px”]

Year,Team (W-L),Changes Made,Next Year

2008,Rams (2-14),New coach,1-15

1985,Bucs (2-14),New quarterback,2-14

1981,Colts (2-14),New coach\, quarterback,0-8-1

1978,49ers (2-14),New coach,2-14

[/table]

Keep in mind, though, that the Niners had the happiest of endings. Bill Walsh took over as coach in ’79, drafted Joe Montana in the third round that year and the rest, as they say, is history. Other 2-14 clubs also went to the Super Bowl not long afterward — four seasons later for the ’81 and ’92 Patriots and five for the ’85 Bills.

Maybe that will happen for Colts, Chiefs and/or Texans in the next few years. But regardless, it’s comforting to know the worm has turned. No longer is a 2-14 season like beginning of a lengthy prison term (where if you’re lucky they might let you out on Sunday afternoons to drive a snow plow around an NFL field).

At least, not necessarily.

*Granted, Manning didn’t play in 2011 because of a neck injury; Curtis Painter did (mostly). But the decision was between Manning and Luck, not Painter and Luck.

WHAT 2-14 TEAMS DID THE FOLLOWING YEAR

[table width=”350px”]

,1978-10,2011-12

2-14 teams,23,4

Above .500 the next season,2,2

Playoffs the next season,1,2

[/table]

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Bengals novelty Mohamed Sanu: He, too, shall pass

A wide receiver who can throw the ball. What football coach wouldn’t want one of those? In Mohamed Sanu, the Bengals have one of the best ever — and we’re not prone to historical hyperbole around here.

Sanu is in just his third season, so it might seem early to be making such pronouncements. But his stats say otherwise. After his 50-yard strike to Brandon Tate in a Week 3 win over the Falcons, the numbers look like this: 3 attempts, 3 completions, 148 yards, 1 touchdown, 158.3 rating. (That’s as high, of course, as ratings get.)

Put it this way: Only two wideouts in NFL history have thrown for more yards than Sanu, and both played a lot longer than he has. Heck, a mere nine have thrown for as many as 100 yards. The group Sanu has joined:

WIDE RECEIVERS WITH 100 CAREER PASSING YARDS

[table]

Years,Wideout,Team(s),Att,Comp,Yds,TD,Int,Rating

2002-10,Antwaan Randle El,Steelers\, Redskins,27,22,323,6,0,156.1

1973-83,Drew Pearson,Cowboys,7,5,192,3,2,113.7

2012-14,Mohamed Sanu,Bengals,3,3,148,1,0,158.3

1952-59,Bill McColl,Bears,6,2,138,1,2,81.9

1999-09,Marty Booker,Bears\, Dolphins,10,3,126,2,0,118.7

1992-96,Arthur Marshall,Broncos,2,2,111,2,0,158.3

1969-76,Marlin Briscoe,Bills\, Dolphins\, Lions,9,4,108,0,1,49.5

1998-12,Randy Moss,Vikings,8,4,106,2,1,95.8

1981-92,Jim Jensen,Dolphins,7,4,102,2,0,141.4

[/table]

Note: A team is only listed if the receiver threw a pass for it. Briscoe broke in as a quarterback with the Broncos, so only his passing statistics as a wideout are included.

One player who isn’t on the list is Hall of Fame end Bill Hewitt, who tossed three TD passes for the Bears — all in the 1933 season. The play Hewitt ran was dubbed the Stinky Special, not because George Halas was a stinker to call it but because Stinky was Bill’s nickname.

Years ago, I asked Ray Nolting, a teammate of Hewitt’s, where the nickname came from. “If we won a ballgame,” he told me, “he’d wear the same jockstrap until we got beat. Wouldn’t wash it. Our

Helmetless Bill Hewitt

Helmetless Bill Hewitt

trainer, Andy Lotshaw, would complain about how much he smelled. One time we were on a six-game winning streak, and Bill hopped up on the trainer’s table on Monday and asked Andy for a rubdown. ‘OK,’ Andy said, ‘turn over.’ So Bill turned over, and Andy took the scissors and cut the jockstrap off. Boy, was Bill mad. He chased Andy all around the locker room. Busted our luck, too. We lost the next one.”

Hewitt also was famous for playing without a helmet, as you can see in the accompanying photo.

Getting back to Sanu, he’s a natural for such trickery because he was an option quarterback in high school and, when he wasn’t catching passes Rutgers, ran coach Greg Schiano’s wildcat offense. “As a receiver, defenses can do things to take you out of the game if they want to,” Schiano said in 2009. “By putting him in the wildcat, we know he’s getting the touch. He may hand off to somebody, but when we want him to keep it, he’s keeping it.”

The Bengals have gotten the ball to Sanu a variety of ways. The first time he threw it, in his second NFL game, he gave the defense a wildcat look by lining up in the shotgun, then faked to running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis and fired a 73-yard touchdown pass to A.J. Green. Redskins DBs DeAngelo Hall (23) and DeJon Gomes (24) are still wondering what happened. You can watch the video here.

On his second attempt, Sanu was flanked wide left. He caught a lateral pass from Andy Dalton and completed a perfect cross-field throw to running back Giovani Bernard down the right sideline. The play set up his own 6-yard TD grab that put the Bengals ahead to stay against the Browns. You can watch that video here.

On attempt No. 3, Sanu again lined up left (though not as wide), took an end-around pitch from Dalton and hit Tate in stride along the right sideline. Another QB-quality heave. You can watch that video here.

(Sorry for the commercials. The NFL must need the dough for its defense fund.)

People would probably be more excited about this — well, some people would probably be more excited about this — if Sanu weren’t following so closely on the heels of Randle El, the gold standard among Throwing Receivers. Randle El, you may recall, was a dual-threat quarterback for Cam Cameron at Indiana. If you look at his NFL passing stats (27 attempts, etc.) they’re kind of what a QB might put up in a game — a really, really good game. Indeed, only three times since 1960 has a quarterback had that good a game: at least 6 TD passes and a rating of 156.1.

QUARTERBACKS WITH 6 TD PASSES. 156.1+ RATING IN A GAME SINCE 1960

[table]

Date,Quarterback\, Team,Opponent,Att,Comp,Yds,TD,Int,Rating

9-28-03,Peyton Manning\, Colts,Saints,25,20,314,6,0,158.3

10-21-07,Tom Brady\, Patriots,Dolphins,25,21,354,6,0,158.3

11-3-13,Nick Foles\, Eagles,Raiders,28,22,406,7,0,158.3

Career,Antwaan Randle El\, Steelers/Redskins,All,27,22,323,6,0,156.1

[/table]

That’s how terrific a passer Randle El was. But let’s not forget: For Sanu, the future is not written.

Someday he might even catch a touchdown pass and throw one in the same game. (He came close Sunday with his 76-yard scoring reception and 50-yard completion.) The last 10 receivers to accomplish the feat (which takes us back to 1983):

THE LAST 10 RECEIVERS WITH A TD CATCH AND A TD PASS IN THE SAME GAME

[table]

Date,Wideout\, Team,Opponent,TD catch (Yds\, QB),TD pass (Yds\, Receiver)

11-11-12,Golden Tate\, Seahawks,Jets,38 from Russell Wilson,23 to Sidney Rice

11-30-08,Mark Clayton\, Ravens,Bengals,70 from Joe Flacco,32 to Derrick Mason

12-18-04,Antwaan Randle El\, Steelers,Giants,35 from Roethlisberger,10 to Vernon Haynes

11-9-03,Rod Gardner\, Redskins,Seahawks,14 from Patrick Ramsey, 10 to Trung Canidate

10-06-02,Kevin Lockett\, Redskins,Titans,23 from Patrick Ramsey,14 to Stephen Davis

10-21-01,David Patten\, Patriots,Colts,91 from Tom Brady,60 to Troy Brown

10-7-01,Marty Booker\, Bears,Falcons,63 from Jim Miller,34 to Marcus Robinson

11-13-88,Louis Lipps\, Steelers,Eagles,89 from Bubby Brister,13 to Merrill Hoge

10-30-83,Harold Carmichael\, Eagles,Colts,6 from Ron Jaworski,45 to Mike Quick

10-9-83,Mark Clayton\, Dolphins,Bills,14 from Dan Marino,48 to Mark Duper

[/table]

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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Ray Rice, Roger Goodell and journalistic hyperbole

The unconscionable conduct of a handful of NFL players — Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson most visibly — “has mushroomed into the biggest crisis confronting a commissioner in the NFL’s 95-year history,” ESPN.com reporters Don Van Natta Jr. and Kevin Van Valkenburg wrote the other day.

And they make that claim more than once in their investigative piece on embattled Roger Goodell — and how he and the league fumbled the handling of Rice’s domestic-violence case. Toward they end, they again call it “the worst crisis in NFL history,” adding, “some league sponsors, most notably Anheuser-Busch, are jittery.”

Worst crisis in NFL history. That certainly takes in a lot of territory. Also, if you’re going to use words like “biggest” and “worst,” it helps to define your terms. If by “biggest” and “worst” you mean “loudest,” you’re probably right. Nowadays, with social media and the 24-hour news cycle and nonstop sports chatter on TV and radio, everything is louder. But that doesn’t make the subject of the noise any more momentous. Our airwaves are a huge vacuum. Something has to fill it. The beast must be fed.

But if by “biggest” and “worst” you mean “most threatening to the league” — as far as its financial well-being and/or place in the sports hierarchy are concerned — the current crisis doesn’t even make the Top 5 all time, and pales in comparison to a few. You want a crisis? How about these:

● The Great Depression. When Black Thursday struck in October 1929, the NFL was in just its 10th season. Its success was by no means assured. College football was still far more popular, and baseball, of course, was king. On top of that, the pro football player wasn’t exactly considered a Shining Example of American Manhood. (More like a mercenary lout.)

Then the stock market crashed and, well, what do you think that was like? Do you suppose it might have been a bigger deal than what’s going on now with Rice, Peterson and the rest? By 1932, the league had shrunk to eight teams — three in New York, two in Chicago and one Boston, Portsmouth (Ohio) and Green Bay. Five cities, that’s it. And two had populations of less than 50,000.

In the late ’30s things began to get better for the NFL — as they did for the rest of the country — but it was touch and go for a while.

● World War II. Yeah, let’s not forget that. With so many of its players in the military, the league thought about shutting down in 1943 — only the Cleveland Rams did — and some franchises were merged to keep them viable. As the war went on, teams were so hurting for manpower they suited up a few 18-year-olds and talked retired players like the Redskins’ Tiger Walton, who had been out of the game since 1934, into making a comeback. (Only 12 of 330 draft picks in 1944 played in the NFL that season.)

“If the war had lasted a little longer,” Bears Hall of Famer Sid Luckman once said, “the NFL might have gotten down to the level of semi-pro ball.”

● The American Football League. Sorry, but a decade-long battle with a rival league (1960-69) — a league that mounted the most serious challenge to the NFL’s monopoly — strikes me as a much bigger crisis than L’Affaire Rice. Competition from the AFL increased salaries dramatically, forced the NFL to expand earlier than it would have (to Dallas, Minnesota, Atlanta and New Orleans) and hurt profit margins. And in the last two seasons before the merger, the AFL’s Jets and Chiefs won the Super Bowl. The horror.

● Steroids. We tend forget what a stir the steroid epidemic created in the ’80s. It wasn’t just a health issue, it was a competitive fairness issue. Let’s face it, nothing riles fans quite like the idea of cheating – and it’s damaging when such a cloud hovers over a league. Once the problem came to a head, Commissioner Pete Rozelle dealt with it quickly and decisively, but only after years of whispers and denial.

● Concussions. When all the votes are in, I wouldn’t be surprised if this crisis — which is far from over — turns out to be far worse for the NFL than the recent rash of misbehavior. Indeed, if anything brings down pro football, it will be the growing suspicion that the game is simply too dangerous, that the physical cost isn’t worth the financial gain. That doesn’t mean the league won’t continue to exist in some form; but it’ll be seriously diminished, and it won’t attract nearly as many of the best athletes.

One other crisis is worthy of mention, even if it doesn’t crack the Top 5. In 1946 New York police uncovered an attempt to fix the NFL championship game. This led to two Giants players being banished from the league and, naturally, much negative publicity — at a time when the rival All-America Conference was trying to gain traction. As difficult as life is for Goodell, I doubt he’d swap places with Bert Bell, the commissioner in ’46. (The AAC, after all, was a worthy adversary that gave us the Browns and 49ers.)

Anyway, that’s six crises in the NFL’s 95-year history I’d rate ahead of the one we’re now obsessing about. And I’m sure I could come up with several more if I wanted to think about it a bit longer. But I’ve got other blogs to throw on the fire, other fishy statements to fry.

So I’ll finish here: Crises aren’t bigger nowadays because the NFL is bigger; they’re actually smaller, generally, but for the same reason: because the game is so firmly established. It was in the early years that you had to worry. A crisis back then was like a baby running a temperature. The league hadn’t built up the immunities it has now.

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Darren Sproles and the NFL’s all-time Mighty Mites

Darren Sproles, hero of the Vertically Challenged and one of the best multi-purpose backs of his generation, was at it again Monday night in Indianapolis. The Eagles’ 5-foot-6, 181-pound dynamo had a career-high 178 yards from scrimmage as Philadelphia rallied to ruin the Colts’ evening, 30-27. (The breakdown: 152 receiving — also a career best — and 26 rushing.)

That means that in Sproles’ two outings since joining Philly as a free agent, he’s had momentum-turning 49-yard touchdown run against the Jaguars and a highlight-reel game against Indy, one that included catches of 57 and 51 and a 19-yard draw-play TD.

Nine years into his career, defensive coordinators are still trying to cover him out of the backfield with linebackers. (You almost felt sorry for Indy’s Josh McNary on the 57-yarder.) They’re still trying to pretend, when he comes into the game, that he doesn’t require special attention. Then again, maybe they don’t notice that he’s out there. He’s very adept at hiding behind his blockers.

Sproles’ running style might best be described as Duck and Dart — duck under the flailing arms of would-be tacklers and dart into (and through) hairline cracks in the defense. He doesn’t return kickoffs anymore, and he hasn’t run back a punt for a score since 2011, but he still has it in him. Even at 31, he’s got a nice burst.

He’s also been fortunate to play for coaches who maximized his abilities — first Norv Turner in San Diego, then Sean Payton in New Orleans and now Chip Kelly in Philadelphia. By the time he’s done, he’ll have, by my guesstimate, 7,500 of the quietest yards from scrimmage in NFL history. I say “quietest” because he’s never made the Pro Bowl . . . and probably never will.

Here’s all you really need to know about Sproles: In 10 playoff games, he’s scored seven TDs. (And in one of them, all he did was return kicks.) OK, here’s something else you could stand to know about him: In 2011 he just missed becoming the first running back in 53 years to carry 75-plus times in a season and average 7 yards an attempt. His numbers: 87 rushes, 603 yards, 6.93 average.

Which raises the question: Where does he rank among pro football’s all-time mighty mites? Answer: Well, he’s certainly a first-teamer. A look at some other notable players who measured 5-6 and under:

● Joey Sternaman, QB, 1922-25, ’27-30 Bears — 5-6, 152. Sternaman, a fine “field general” (as they were called in those days) and kicker, led the NFL in scoring in 1924 with 75 points (six touchdowns, nine field goals, 12 PATs), was third the next year with 62 and made all-pro both seasons. (He also was the younger brother of Dutch Sternaman, who shared ownership of the Bears with George Halas in the early days).

● Gus Sonnenberg, T-FB, 1923, ’25-28, ’30 Columbus/Detroit/Providence — 5-6, 196.   A wild man on and off the field, Sonnenberg, like Sternaman, did some of his best work with his right foot, booting nine field goals, including a 52-yarder, in 1926. He was voted all-NFL three times and started on the Steam Roller’s 1928 title team. He then turned to professional wrestling and became the heavyweight “champion” of the world (I use quotation marks because, hey, this is wrestling we’re talking about.)

Henry "Two Bits" Homan

Henry “Two Bits” Homan

● Henry “Two Bits” Homan, B, 1925-30 Frankford — 5-5, 145. Helped the Yellow Jackets win their only championship in 1926 by catching a last-second touchdown pass in the big December game against the Bears. (The thrower of the pass? Houston Stockton, grandfather of basketball great John Stockton.) Got his nickname, one of his teammates told me, from Guy Chamberlin, Frankford’s Hall of Fame player-coach. It was the same name Chamberlin had given his bulldog.

● Butch Meeker, B, 1930-31 Providence — 5-3, 143. Butch’s career was short and relatively nondescript, but he did have one shining moment. In a 7-7 tie against Frankford in 1930, he returned the opening kickoff 95 yards for a TD and then — brace yourself — kicked the extra point. Has any other 5-3 player ever done that?

● Gil “Frenchy” LeFebvre, B, 1933-35 Cincinnati/Detroit — 5-6, 155. LeFebvre took a different route to the NFL: He developed his football talents in the Navy rather than in college. As a rookie, though, he set a record that stood for 61 years: He returned a punt 98 yards for a touchdown to nail down a 10-0 victory over the Brooklyn Dodgers. Fielding the kick was a risky maneuver that surprised the Cincinnati crowd, the Associated Press reported, but “gasps turned to cheers as the runner . . . started down the field.” It was LeFebvre’s only TD in the NFL.

● Willis “Wee Willie” Smith, B, 1934 Giants — 5-6, 148. Let’s spend a little time with Smith, because I came across a story about him, written by Henry McLemore of the United Press, that actually quoted him (a rarity in the ’30s). Smith wasn’t just undersized, you see, he was also — unbeknownst to most — blind in one eye.

The first time Giants coach Steve Owen saw him on the practice field, he said, “Son, you’re too damn little. You wouldn’t last a first down in this business. You may have been a son of a gun out there with [the University of] Idaho, but these pro guys would bust you in two.”

Smith was undaunted. “Maybe they will,” he replied. “But what about letting me hang around until they do? My family will send for the body, so it won’t cost you anything.”

Willis "Wee Willie" Smith

Willis “Wee Willie” Smith

In his only year in the league, Wee Willie rushed 80 times for a 4-yard average, scored two touchdowns on the ground and threw for another as the Giants won the title. He explained his running technique to McLemore this way: “I just sorta roll with those big guys’ tackles like a fighter does with a punch on the jaw. I make it a point never to meet one of those guys head on. I duck ’em, like you would a train.”

Except for one time, when his competitiveness got the best of him and he sank his helmet into the stomach of Bronko Nagurski, the Bears’ block of granite. Nagurski’s alleged reply: “Mickey Mouse, you better watch where you’re going, else you’re going to hurt somebody.”

FYI: Smith’s listed weight of 148 might have been a bit on the high side. Dr. Harry March, the Giants’ first general manager, insisted Wee Willie was “about 140 stripped,” and McLemore joked: “Feed Willis Smith a dozen alligator pears, drape him in a double-breasted coat, give him the Dionne quintuplets to hold, and he might weigh all of 145 pounds.”

● Buddy Young, B, 1947-55 New York Yankees/Dallas Texans/Baltimore Colts — 5-4, 175.  Young needs less of an introduction than the rest. After all, he’s in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Few backs in his era were more dangerous running, receiving and returning. Not only did he have world-class speed (10.5 for 100 meters), he had — there’s no denying this — a weird-shaped body to try to tackle. What a nightmare in the open field.

● Billy Cross, RB, 1951-53 Cardinals — 5-6, 151. In The Sporting News, Ed Prell described him as “almost as small as the midget Bill Veeck of the St. Louis Browns smuggled into baseball.”

"Little Billy" Cross

“Little Billy” Cross

Whenever a sportswriter brought up Cross’ weight, Billy would be sure to say, smiling, “And that’s before a game.”

The kid was a terrific athlete, though, who at West Texas A&M high jumped 6-1 — seven inches above his height — and earned Little All-America honors as the quintessential scatback. In his second NFL game, he scored on an 18-yard run and a 39-yard pass against the Bears, and in his three seasons he averaged about 50 yards from scrimmage per Sunday. Pretty productive.

“When I’m going into a line and see a guy like [Hall of Famer] Arnie Weinmeister of the Giants,” Cross once said, “I know I’m not going through. He only outweighs me by 100 pounds. . . . But give me a little daylight, and the chase is on.”

● “Mini Mack” Herron, RB, 1973-75 Patriots/Falcons — 5-5, 170. Drugs derailed Herron’s career, but he’ll always have 1974. That was the season he set an NFL record for all-purpose yards (2,444), tied for third in the league in touchdowns (12) and also ranked high in yards from scrimmage (1,298, seventh), punt return yards (517, second), punt return average (14.8, fourth) and several other categories. He and fullback Sam “Bam” Cunningham were quite a combination in the New England backfield.

● Lionel “Little Train” James, RB-WR, 1984-88 Chargers — 5-6, 171. In 1985 James became the first NFL running back to rack up 1,000 receiving yards in a season — 1,027 to be exact. (Later the same afternoon, the 49ers’ Roger Craig became the second.) Just one back has gained more (Marshall Faulk, 1,048 with the Super Bowl-winning ’99 Rams).

And Sproles makes 11. My own personal Mount Rushmore: Young, Sonnenberg, Sproles and Herron (what might have been).

Sources for statistics: pro-football-reference.com, Total Football.

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Friday Night Fights II: Mark Gastineau vs. Alonzo Highsmith, 1996

Now we’re getting to the Good Stuff. This was one of those classic Shield vs. Shield bouts, as Roger Goodell would put it, between two former NFL players — Mark Gastineau, the erstwhile Jets sack dancer, and Alonzo Highsmith, who’d had a more modest career as a running back after the Oilers took him third overall in the 1987 draft.

Both had a fair number of pro fights under their belts, though Gastineau’s were more of the State Fair variety. Indeed, Mark (15-1 with 15 knockouts) hadn’t fought in 2 ½ years. He’d supposedly gone into the gym — after a four-round no-decision against the immortal Craig Thurber in Topeka — to learn some ring craft and had emerged, at the age of 39, a more polished pugilist.

Highsmith, eight years younger and 31 ½ pounds lighter (223 ½ to Gastineau’s 255), had a somewhat better track record (15-0-1 with 13 KOs), but that’s not saying much. Two of his recent victims had records of 2-24 (Jim Wisniewski) and 0-23 (Ed Strickland) when they climbed between the ropes. In fact, Strickland was winless in 30 career bouts.

The Gastineau-Highsmith tussle took place Nov. 3, 1996, in Urayasu, Japan, outside Tokyo. Believe it or not, it was on the undercard of George Foreman’s bout against Crawford Grimsley for Foreman’s dime-store IBA and WBU titles. George, 47, won a unanimous 12-round decision, but laced up his gloves only twice more before returning his full attention to selling grills.

Our two gladiators are ready to rumble. Let’s go to the ring for the introductions:

Once again, the beginning of the end for Gastineau:

Bruce Keidan in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Highsmith is no great boxer, but compared to Gastineau he is Sugar Ray Robinson. . . .

“Gastineau didn’t even know how to quit,” an eyewitness reports. “He finally sat down. You’ve heard of guys taking a knee? He took a buttock.”

“The referee was counting in Japanese,” another reports. “Gastineau couldn’t be sure when it was safe to get up. So he just stayed down until he was sure the referee was done counting.”

Obviously, the second report was embellished. The referee, Tom Vacca “from Ashland, Ohio,” most definitely counted in English. But at that point, Gastineau was so groggy it probably sounded like Japanese.

Highsmith went on to fight 13 more times, against better competition, before calling it quits. Final record: 27-1-2 with 23 KOs. But for Gastineau it was his last bout — and wisely so. A better matchup for him would have been Sylvester Stallone — with the winner getting Brigitte Nielsen.

Screen Shot 2014-09-12 at 1.17.09 PMStallone and Nielsen

 

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Another tight end runs amok

If you don’t think the Era of the Tight End is upon us, consider this: When Julius Thomas caught three touchdown passes in the Broncos’ Week 1 win over the Colts, it was the 18th time in the 2000s a tight end had done that. What’s more, we’re talking about 16 different tight ends, everybody from Mark Campbell (Bills, 2004) to Greg Olsen (Bears, 2009) to Dante Rosario (Chargers, 2012 — his only three scores that season). The only ones who’ve had two of these games (playoffs included) are the Patriots’ Rob Gronkowski and the Chargers’ Antonio Gates.

Thomas also had 104 yards receiving. Three TD grabs and 100 receiving yards in a game aren’t so common for a tight end. In fact, there have been only 10 such performances in the last 25 years. The roll:

TIGHT ENDS WITH 3 TD CATCHES, 100 RECEIVING YARDS IN A GAME SINCE 1989

[table]

Date,Tight end\, Team,Opponent,Rec,Yds,TD

9-7-14,Julius Thomas\, Broncos,Colts,7,104,3

1-14-12*,Rob Gronkowski\, Patriots,Broncos,10,145,3

10-22-06,Alge Crumpler\, Falcons,Steelers,6,117,3,

10-30-05,Antonio Gates\, Chargers,Chiefs,10,145,3

11-16-03,Shannon Sharpe\, Broncos,Chargers,7,101,3

9-29-02,Tony Gonzalez\, Chiefs,Dolphins,7,140,3

12-14-97,Ken Dilger\, Colts,Dolphins,5,100,3

10-6-96,Shannon Sharpe\, Broncos,Chargers,13,153,3

10-3-93,Johnny Mitchell\, Jets,Eagles,7,146,3

9-17-89,Keith Jackson\, Eagles,Redskins,12,126,3

[/table]

*playoffs

For sheer economy, you can’t do much better than Lions tight end Joseph Fauria did last season against the Browns: three catches, 34 yards, three touchdowns. The only TEs since the merger who’ve topped him — that is, scored three times in fewer yards – are, well, see for yourself:

FEWEST RECEIVING YARDS IN A GAME FOR A TIGHT END WITH 3 TD CATCHES 

[table]

Date,Tight end\,Team,Opponent,Rec,Yds,TD

10-12-75,Mack Alston\, Oilers,Browns,3,22,3

10-14-90,Eric Green\, Steelers,Broncos,4,28,3

10-13-13,Joseph Fauria\, Lions,Browns,3,34,3

11-21-04,Mark Campbell\, Bills,Rams,4,37,3

12-18-88,Damone Johnson\, Rams,49ers,4,42,3

[/table]

I’ll say it for you: Stats don’t get any more obscure than that.

Source: pro-football-reference.com

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